Here are the results:

1. Coffee (n.):  a person who is coughed upon.

2. Flabbergasted (adj.):  appalled over how much weight you have gained.

3. Abdicate (v.):  to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade (v.):  to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly (adj.):  impotent.

6. Negligent (adj.):  describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.

7. Lymph (v.):  to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle (n.):  an olive flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence (n.):  the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash (n.):  a rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle (n.):  a humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude (n.):  the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you.

13. Oyster (n.):  a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions.

14. Pokemon (n):  a Jamaican proctologist.

15. Frisbeetarianism (n.):  the belief that, when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent (n.):  the opening in the front of boxer shorts.