APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER

                       1.  NAME _________________________ DATE OF BIRTH____________________

                       2.  HEIGHT_______________WEIGHT__________ I.Q.__________ G.P.A.__________

                       3.  SOCIAL SECURITY # DRIVERS LICENSE # _________-_____-_________

                       4.  BOY SCOUT RANK _________________________________________

                       5.  STREET ADDRESS_________________ CITY/STATE_______________ZIP_______

                       6.  DO YOU HAVE ONE  MALE AND ONE  FEMALE PARENT? ______________

                       7.  If no, explain___________________________________________________________

                       8.  DO YOU OWN A VAN?_________A TRUCK WITH OVER-SIZE TIRES?______
                            A WATER BED?______________

                       9.  IN 25 WORDS OR LESS, WHAT DOES LATE MEAN TO YOU?_____________
                            ______________________________________________________________________

                     10.  IN 25 WORDS OR LESS, WHAT DOES " DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER"
                            MEAN TO YOU? _____________________________________________________
                            ______________________________________________________________________

                     11.  IN 25 WORDS OR LESS, WHAT DOES ABSTINENCE MEAN TO YOU?_____
                            ______________________________________________________________________

                     12.  CHURCH YOU ATTEND________________________ FREQUENCY___________

                     13.  WHEN WOULD BE THE BEST TIME TO INTERVIEW YOUR FATHER,
                            MOTHER, PRIEST?_____________________________________________________

                     14.  ANSWER BY FILLING IN THE BLANK.  PLEASE ANSWER FREELY.
                            ALL ANSWERS ARE CONFIDENTIAL. (This means I won't tell anyone-ever-I-promise)

 A.  If I were shot, the last place I would want to be wounded is in the______________________
 B.   If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my____________________________
 C.  The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is_________________________
 D.  A woman's place is in the______________________________________________________
 E.  When I first meet a girl, the fist thing I notice is her_________________________________
 (NOTE: If answer begins with "T" or " A ", discontinue and leave the premises
 keeping your head low and running in a serpentine fashion is advised)
                      15.  WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE IF YOU GROW UP?_____________________
                      ____________________________________________________________________
I swear that all information supplied above is true and correct, to the best of my knowledge, under penalty of death,
dismemberment, Native American torture, crucifixion, electrocution, Chinese water torture, AND red hot pokers.

___________________________________________
Signature (this means sign your name, Moron!)

Thank you for your interest.  Please allow four to six years for processing.  You will be contacted in writing
if you are approved. Please do not call or write.   If your application is rejected you will be notified by two
gentlemen wearing overalls and driving a HUGE Ford with fully  equipped gunrack.   Watch your back!!


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