AMNESIA:  Condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to make love again.

DUMBWAITER:  One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.

FAMILY PLANNING:  The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster.

FEEDBACK:  The inevitable result when your baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.

FULL NAME:  What you call your child when you're mad at him.

GRANDPARENTS:  The people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right.

HEARSAY:  What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.

IMPREGNABLE:  A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.

INDEPENDENT:  How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.

OW:  The first word spoken by children with older siblings.

PUDDLE:  A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.

SHOW OFF:  A child who is more talented than yours.

STERILIZE:  What you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it.

TOP BUNK:  Where you should never put a child wearing Superman pajamas.

TWO MINUTE WARNING:  When the baby's face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.

WHODUNIT:  None of the kids that live in your house.